Hello friends, family and faithful followers!
Happy spring!! I hope wherever you are, you’re experiencing some beautiful weather and sunshine like we’ve had here in Central Texas. I’m so thankful and have been soaking up the vitamin D any chance I can!
With springtime comes what we all like to call “spring cleaning”—getting rid of all the fall and winter fluff and clutter in order to simplify for the coming warm months. I love some good spring cleaning; growing up, my mom was the QUEEN of making sure we had trashbags loaded with goodies to donate to Goodwill. It helps make you feel fresh, clean, and new in the midst of a season full of newness and fresh life!
I am doing some special spring cleaning this spring. As most of you know, I’ve had a rough past few months. I had a major crash-and-burn in December, and was doing mostly better with some adjustments to my life in January and February, but have hit another low this month that has come pretty heavily. A lot of it is health-related, which ties in to lots of spiritual, emotional, and mental struggles as well, because we all know well how all of those things are so intricately intertwined. I won’t go into detail, but some things I’ve been having to battle include depression, lack of energy, lack of motivation, not wanting to spend time or be with the people I love most, and really just not feeling like myself.
It’s been a challenging journey, and it’s hard when you think you’re almost to the end, but then you fall down harder. I still have a long ways to go and need some “clearing” out in order to get my head and health straight. We made some pretty big changes in January, but have felt the need for some more as spring comes. I am greatly reducing my amount of exercise to 3 times a week, which means I’m basically only teaching the classes I have on schedule at Gold’s gym. I am not running at all (also partially due to yet another recent injury). I am working less hours at my Olive Branch job. In addition to all of this, my husband and I have felt that another part of clearing and creating space for healing is to take a break from Kitchenspired. Sad, I know!! I love writing for this blog and getting to connect with all of you through this community. You guys have been nothing but supportive and encouraging, and I love it! However, as much as I desire to create and develop recipes for the blog, I am just stuck in a slump and am struggling to even make meals for my husband and me. Since I’m really at war in my own health journey, I haven’t had much inspiration to pour out through this blog, as I’m just trying to make it on my own. I’m not saying I have to be perfect in order to bring you guys in to my journey—that’s not my heart. I just think I need space to process and heal and not feel the pressure to invite the worldwide web into that process (just yet, at least).
I have hope and trust that Jesus is doing a greater work in me and that the pain and disappointment will all be worth it in the end. Even this week someone waited on God for us and had the word from James 1- “Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.” [MSG version]. It’s clear that God is taking me through some temptations and trials in order to refine my faith, mature me, and make me even more complete. I don’t want to get out of it prematurely or try to make it finish before its time, which means there are just some things I have to give up in order to make space.
I am hopeful knowing that I will come back to Kitchenspired stronger and with greater gold to share with all of you about the redemption, restoration, and healing of Jesus. I’m just not quite there yet, but I know it’s on the horizon. I can feel it. We feel hopeful and know that Jesus is sovereign, in control, and good, even when we don’t understand.
And of course, we invite you guys to pray for us if you feel led to! We need the support of our community, friends, and family in this time. Some ways you can pray are just for healing for my body, grace to get more rest, and that we would connect in marriage better than ever before. Anything else you hear from God is great, too 🙂
Thank you guys for understanding. I will be back!!! In the meantime…